Alone.

Today im gonna touch on a hurtful subject. Being alone. As a foster we often change homes and people come and go. We want soemone to go though this change with us and I get it. The state thinks its for the best, however they never see how much it hurts. We tend not to get attached, and thats both a good and a bad thing. I have gotten attached to multiple people and they have left my life., however some have stayed. We all feel alone at times and nothing can do anything about it. no one can help us because they will leave us too, and we know it. We just want that constant. To know who will be there when we come home after school. To know that the car that we've seen so many times wont be there in place of that friendly person you used to call your 2nd mom ready to drive you away from all you friends you just made. When you just let down your walls they seem to need to be rebuilt. People ask me why dont you just not rebuild them, and I say, " would you?" I mean it not something I can controll. My boyfriend has been upset that i have had a little wall around us, and until recently, it hasnt broken. The only difference

is that I have known since i meet him he would be leaving me at some time in the near future. So why do I let him in?? Honestly I couldn't tell you. I gusse its because I dont want to be alone, even if I get broken in the end and end up rebuilding that wall. I want to have someone to talk to, even if it hurts in the end. I want to have someone, no need, but dont we all? Dont we all have a dream that someone will try to break down the wall that we keep on rebuilding, and this time for good?