pushing away

As children we learn that pushing is not ok. We get timeouts and yelled at or perhaps sent home from school and our parents hit us. As we grow we for the most part, know that pushing isn't the best idea in the world but instead of physically pushing people away we graduated into a higher level of avoidance. We push away people mentally. No matter who it is or how close they might try and get we always push away sometimes. With those of us who have a normal life if(or when...) you sneak out of the house or when you say your going to Sarah's when you go to josh's you push your parents away. When you tell your friend you have plans that weekend when you don't that's pushing away. Every one does this and it is completely normal but why do you do it? That's the question that changes a lot. Do you do it to have fun for a night or so you can escape to josh and use his body to hide your scars? Do you say no because you want some you time or because you know they are moving next week. These factors can affect your decions whether you know it or not. For us Fosters this is really hard because everyone you know has left you and you feel alone. You don't want to get hurt so you go the bare minimal to socialize you do it enough to surive but not enough to thrive. We do it so it dosnt hurt as much when he leaves you or when they move away and I belive that this tatic is actually really smart, however that dosnt mean its right. God didnt nessacrly make us to be smart. Think of all the stuff he keeps from us not because he dosnt want us to know but because we don't need to know it. If we knew it all we would be smart, as smart as him and there would be no reason to live because life is all about learing. So God does the right thing and dosnt give us all the answers. Instead he leaves us guessing until were ready for the answers and to be honest sometimes the answers are not what we wanted to hear and that hurts and leaves us upset with him so upset in fact that when the good things come we forget hes there. we tend to only seem to notice God when we want something and when we dont get it but instead it should be the oppisite.