When it rains it pours

The meetings that often can change your life is one that you will never forget. In this meeting people who think that they are God decide what path your life goes on. Left or right. Up or down.In this meeting you probley sit there in silnce while the" big people" talk. You see I was just in a meeting like this and as the state workers talked about my future I let my mind wander for once. I though about my week and the past in general. Recently I have been though a lot including but not limated to, the soon depature of my ex, my family issues with my bio parents. I though back to the first good tiem with him. I thought back to the best time with my parents.I thought about the way they smell. I thought about hugging them and seeing them. Then in my school other things have been going crazy. An intruder came in and beat up a teacher, my friend killed himself, a threat was made by a student to shoot us up, and a taze gun was brought into school. I think about all this stuff and I realize that in one or two mounts my life was turned completely upside down. I have never known someone who committed suicide before and going to that wake and seeing his dad and shaking his hand was an awful experience for me. It was awful seeing the boy that was once so full of energy and life laying there completely drained of energy and showed little to no resemblance to the person I once known. I say this because I went on my friends phone today and she took a picture of us and we went though a bunch of old pictures and among them was him. He was happy and smiling and this picture was talking a couple weeks before his death. He seemed so happy and no one around him could have guessed the struggles that he faced from day to day. This is the first time actually opening up about this to anyone. And if you have ever lost someone you might be able to identify when I say that for the longest time afterwards I was completely numb. I didn't hurt, I wasn't happy. I was numb. I thought that I didn't get to be sad because we weren't all that close. I knew who he was and he knew me. We talked a couple of times and might call each other friends. I would see him in cheer practice and me and the rest of he teams yelling at him to get off the mats with his shoes. He looked so carefree, but then again so don't I. Recently though I have been though pain and I realized that this does hurt and that no matter what it would always hurt to some degree. But I also found out that I learned form him and that I wouldn't want to that to my family or any one for that matter. Instead I should take what would have been the rest of his life and live it for him. That yes it would hurt but I would get over it and in time I may be able to see a picture of him without tearing up, or thinking of him laying there in the coffin as though he was asleep. I bet your probley wondering why I am saying all this and that's a fair question. Why am I? I think its because I am trying to show people (including myself) that people can leave in more then one way and not one way hurts more then the other. Suddenly you are back to the present situation in time to hear what they have been talking about for the last ten minutes. They don't want you. The adoptive parents don't want you anymore and that hurts. Now you see this as unfair, you didn't do anything wrong. But then you look back at him and realize that your friend is with you. You know that like this you will get over it and it will get easier. You know that you will get back up again after the storm. Yes when it rains it pours, but the solution is simple: bring an umbrella.

RIP Nathan Bruno, you will never be forgotten. <3