letting go

This post is gonna be about letting go and moving on wich we all have trouble with. I can say for certain that I have difficulty moving on and letting people go and moving on. However you need to. Lately i have been facing a big problem of whether or not to talk to my ex and i know that he's just using me since he has told me that multiple times however i still seem to go back to him. I see him were ever and it feels like im being stabbed. It feels like i have made no progress with missing him and that im going back to him even against my better judgement. I know thats going to happen, he's gonna get what he wants and then not talk to me until he wants something else. Now that i think about it its not just him. I do it with my parents. I need to come with reality and i still havent done that and so in a way whenever something happens it hurts all over agin and then i have no one and thats hurts in a way that no one should know. I constantly feel just lost in my life with no way to get out. I know that you guys dont want to hear all my sob storys and i get it but i need someone to listen and to understand. How do i love someone and trust that they wont leave me???????? I just want to know that I have someone and that they are a constant and that they will always love me. When somebody tells me that im loved I feel bad cause im not a good person to love. I feel tat they have to love me, that its their job. I feel that no one likes me and only pretend to be nice. I dont know any more. I feel like life its self doesn't like me and everything that happens that is bad is my falut.