Anger

Everyone has anger towards someone or something, but what happens when that anger turns into something we cant controll? For me I want to feel something physical to get my anger out, so my foster parents got me stress balls, gum, and stuff to break. I went though this phase about two years ago when I cut myself. I didnt care at the time who I was hurting or the danger I put myself in, I just wanted an escape. So when I was angry I took a knife to myself. I wouldnt do that now because I was able to open up and get help. However I still feel anger torwards whoever. I feel like I want to punch the wall at points however I dont. I want to feel happy so I distract my self, however I guess that thats not the most safe thing because I still have that anger inside me and eventually I will blow and the big explosion will be alot bigger then the few sparks I let out on the way. Im tried of people ignoring me. I want to have someone to talk to. Im lonely Thats it. Im sorry this post isnt as good that I have given before its early.